Tuesday, November 22, 2011

In the spirit of Tina Fey

Yay, as I sit and work through the valley of the shadow of the eve, I shall fear no terribly written copy, for I shall write it over again, and write it over better I say.  

And, as the laptop doth burn a red spot upon my ample thighs with its battery warmth, I shall text message my friends and call them unholy, yet affectionate names. Because we women are fickle creatures, and like to degrade each other to show our troth and devotion. Ye trollups of the night, heareth thou what I am saying, eth?  

And lo, though I did eat chocolate pie, and did shoveth my face again with oreos, a fried egg roll, some tater babies, a Sprite, and let us not forgetteth the chicken and dumplings I did bring forth for dinner, I still feel an hungered, and will forage through the cupboards for more sustenance to feed my yearnings. 

I suffereth long over the computer screen. My eyes doth twitch from exhaust, my fingers swelled ripe with fatigue. And as I flitter from work to this epistle and back again, I doth realize that to my bed I should go, a tylenol pm I should imbibe, this section I shall finish and persevere again on the morrow.

Good night, fair maidens. And if thou art not a maiden or a madam of the eve, but a dude instead, I question thine viewing and encourage thee to take a deeper look at thy intentions and manliness forthwith. 

Until we meet again, at yonder later hour, same time, same place tomorrow? 


Monday, November 21, 2011

we'll sip fine wassail together

Oh hey, my friend Holly is hosting a craft night at her house. If you are craft-ually challenged like myself, she has all of the supplies and is there to help YOU achieve YOUR holiday crafting dreams. 

You should come, I'm going, so are other popular people. In fact, only cool people will be there. So I hope you're cool enough to come too. We'll see. 

Find all the deets on Holly's blog which you can find HERE, and if you want to know when I'm going it's Wednesday the 30th. Boom. 

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

30 is flirty and thriving

I've been thinking a lot about happiness lately. My happiness.

When am I most happy?

Right now Paul is in the kitchen baking me a birthday cake. This makes me happy. It's 9:15 on a Tuesday, and the man is baking me cake. If you don't find that scene to be a turn on, we have bigger issues to discuss. I'm holed up on the couch with the laptop, editing the college application essays of one of my favorite kids in our neighborhood while watching Parenthood on the telly. All of those things make me happy. I will be in bed by 11, tomorrow is my birthday. Boom. Happy.

Most of these things are incidental, but collectively they contribute to a greater good, a feeling of contentment even.

Tonight I put my boys to bed alone, Paul wasn't home yet and I was done for the day. Sensory overload. STOP TOUCHING ME CHILDREN. The Fat One has been teething for the past, oh, always. The Nub had no nap after playing like gangbusters for hours at "Ban's" house and though he did protest greatly, was out in 2 minutes. By 7:24 pm it was all quiet on the Verbie front. Even though I spent the majority of my day with good friends, celebrating birthday week and talking in a kitchen while eating cupcakes (thanks for those Jill), I was crabby.

But then my man came home, the scent of baking cakes perfumes my senses, and I'm pretty sure I'll wake up tomorrow in a better mood.

My 20's were hard. They were a decade of learning and hard knocks, momentous and life changing events. I graduated from college, moved away from my family, lived in the sun, made some of the best friends of my life, married my Paul, got pregnant 4 times, gave birth to 2 beautiful boys, got initiated into motherhood, lost a business, gained some maturity, cracked wide open my future, learned how to fight for the people I love, and to enjoy what I've been given.

It's taken me 30 years to get here, but I know what makes me happy and it's all of that stuff. The hard stuff, the good stuff, the friends and the family stuff. Even when I am knee deep in wallowing over some problem or hurdle that feels like it might eat me alive, I understand that whatever it is won't break me. That happiness is always an overriding choice and will eventually return when the problem is fixed, or maybe as the solution itself.

I am happy. I am happy and grateful for these people that I love, for this life that we lead, for the fact that God is generous and free with these blessings. I am happy that I made good choices when it counted and I feel like this birthday is a badge of honor. I survived my 20's, I learned a lot in my 20's. I think I still have much more to learn in my 30's, but I'm pretty happy with where I've gotten so far.

So here's to the next 10.

We'll re-evaluate at 40.

and so it begins

oh hai guys

it's birthday week you know

turning 30 on Wednesday, and I've announced it to everyone about 6 billion times. Church? Yes. Random relatives I never see? Yes. Family? Yes. Neighbors? Yes. You? Yes. Too much? NO.

But really, birthday week of the year you turn 30 is something special. 

To start, my Wendy friend went a little insane (she's on a lot of drugs right now, the good kind) and gifted me a bunch of stuff from our favorite store(s) but then also this jacket that I'm pretty sure is woven from the fibers of a baby seal's whiskers, or lots of baby seals, they are generous donors I've heard. Except my linebacker shoulders don't fit (think Chris Farley) and we must exchange for the next size up. Le sigh... such is the life of a farm girl. And then my mother-in-law, bless her tininess, came up big with a long enough and perfectly fitting teal boyfriend cardigan from Land's End. That Carol, she is good at the gift giving and I love her. You too Ken, I'm sure you contributed something. And then this morning I was in the bathroom with the door locked, girding my loins for the day (i.e. checking the twitter and ignoring my children beating on the door) when I scrolled through a tweet from Carina about this giveaway from Today's Mama that I had entered a while ago by doing this post. Remember that?    

you guys, YOU GUYS. I WON IT! Well, one of it, a lits bits of a ski and winter getaway to Park City Mountain Resort for 3 days. BOOM. Happy Birthday me. Sort of bummed I sold my snowboard a year or two ago when we were destitute for cash. Except not too sad because hey, rentals are included in this giveaway, and lessons, and accommodations, and $100 too. It wouldn't hurt me to take a lesson since I learned to snowboard by taking a lift to the top of the mountain and then falling/sliding on my arse all the way down to the bottom which took like 2 hours. That was not fun. But now I shall take a lesson and rectify all my bad habits. Yay. And we shall get the Nub on a board for the first time. How cute, right? My little, much cuter, Shawn White. Twin gingers.  

You know why I love birthday week? Okay yes, I like presents, who doesn't? You're a liar if you say you don't. But aside from friends who go on shopping sprees while high, and mother-in-laws who have your number, the best part is the validation. The calls and the texts and people high fiving you in Target (it happens). YES, people really do love me. I mean something to someone else. I am loved. The human race is better off with me in it. I matter. Connie's magnum opus of birthing out a 9 lb 12 oz, 22 inch long giant baby girl sans drugs 30 years ago on Wednesday was totally worth it. Right Mom?

Dang, I just like birthdays okay? 

And now it is midnight and I need my beauty rest. This giant chin zit I grew for the occasion isn't going to put itself to bed. 


Thursday, November 10, 2011

fact: unicorns poop glitter

Oh Halloween, you were fun. 

I sort of want to be a unicorn next year. Don't you?

Monday, November 7, 2011

on the run

I've driven all over the g-dang valley today, from Highland to Spanish Fork to Lehi and all that frickin frackin road construction in between. In the back of my car? 3 coolers packed full of frozen beef. Lane and Connie were kind enough to kill the fatted calf they've been raising and grass feeding and tenderly massaging all spring and summer and then share 1/4 of it with us. Do you know how much 1/4 of a cow is? 3 coolers full, that's how much. It's a lot of roasts, steaks, short ribs, soup bones, and ground beef. And since we don't eat tons of beef anymore this shall last us a good long time and that brings me great joy. I feel bad the cow had to die. I don't feel bad about a succulent Sunday roast. It's quite contradictory, I know. 

The Nub had his first dental appointment today. I figured with my history of extensive oral (snigger) complications, it was high time. He behaved like a perfect gent, all watching the movie and opening wide. Cavity free. Bless. He is the cutest, that is, when I don't want to choke him out for being a 3 year old. 

The other one is giving me a run for it too. Up every few hours in the night, walking all over, taking headers into chairs and cabinet corners, tables, sidewalks, pretty much you name it he's hit his head on  it, coming out of it looking like we beat him for talking back. I won't lie, at 4 am when I've already been up with him once or twice the thought does pass through. I have expectations of my children, and one of those expectations is that they sleep through the night when they are capable of doing so. The Nub has been known to meet and exceed in this department, since he was 8 weeks old no less; the Fat One not so much. As we speak he's lumbering around the kitchen with my measuring spoons and tongs, whining and crying intermittently because WHO KNOWS WHY? Oh sweet mystery of life, you make me want to scrape out what's left of my brains with a melon baller. 

And now on to dinner. 

tonight: Rachel Ray's pasta with pumpkin and sausage
say what you will about RR (*cough she does grate on the nerves) but this pasta gets.the.job.done.
Friday: pizza on the grill perhaps
Saturday: ?
Sunday: slow cooker roast w/potatoes and carrots

Friday, November 4, 2011

LIG on the homefront

I find that when I take the time to sit down and think about it, my world is quite literally (click it, oh please click it) bubbling up and overflowing with the sort of tender mercies that the crazies in my church like to get up to the pulpit and blub about during the first Sunday of the month. What's the first Sunday of the month? If you're Mormon you know that the first Sunday is a veritable free-for-all where members of the congregation refrain from eating for a couple meals (you may know this as fasting) and then have a meeting with no program. Instead members are invited to bear their testimonies, which more often than not leads to crying and stories about veterinary heroics involving feline leukemia (no lie), the occasional miraculous healing/conversion occurrence, the importance of paying tithing (10% over hurr), guarding our children against the evils of associating with non-member children, R rated movies, shirts with no sleeves, and thong underwear (but really, I'm joking), and other some such topics.  Aside from the fact that I still have not actually managed to fast the alloted time in over 2 years, I just don't think my heart or stomach is in it, this is my favorite Sunday of the month for the sheer entertainment factor alone. You should come sometime. Afterwards we'll club you unconscious and baptize you in a secret font we keep off to the side of the chapel for such purposes. You'll be hip to the Mormon know in no time at all!

But back to gratitude and blessings, it is November after all, we should be thinking of these kinds of things. The pilgrims saw fit to wipe out entire villages and populations thanks to their dirty smallpox and other equally infectious diseases, and yet they still found time to extend a (germy) hand of friendship, to smoke the proverbial peace pipe, and eat some succotash with the only Natives left standing. I'm summarizing but you get the general idea. That was nice of them. And since Thanksgiving is my 2nd or 3rd favorite national holiday (Christmas, 4th of July), I am especially overcome with warm fuzzies for their efforts. November is the kick-off for 2 months of appreciation and gluttony, interspersed with gift giving, my birthday, and stories about Jesus. What's not to love about that? Nothing. 

Really what I'm trying to say is that I've got it good, I know I do. There is food on our table, the internet on my trusty macbook. We are sometimes not so gainfully employed, but employed nonetheless. We have insurance, however lame it may be. Our children are healthy, very healthy. We may not sleep much at night thanks to the Fat One and his serious lack of understanding as to how that's supposed to work, but we are warm, the bills are paid, and even Gus the dumb dog gets to sleep inside at night. As I always seem to say, my life is good and I know it. 

Hope yours is too.

Have a great weekend, snow is in the forecast. I'm even sort of happy about it. Hooray!

ppppppps it's No Shave November for the beard growers out there. Women, take your pick as to whether or not you want to participate. Personally I find the stubble more annoying than not. Jean friction. However, I do love a good beard, have you seen my brother's lately? Nice. His play is even more impressive. Steelers vs Ravens on Sunday. You should be watching.