Monday, June 27, 2011

This One is All Over the Place

I always curse myself the next day for staying up this late because it translates into me starting tomorrow one step behind, which then snowballs into me doing the same thing the next day, ad nauseam. Someday this vicious cycle will end ( and one day I will learn how to spell "vicious", thanks stupid), but probably not anytime soon. Whatever comes out of this late night sesh may not make a whole lot of sense so consider yo'self warned. 

I will be the first to admit that introspection is not my strong suite. Other people seem to have this deep connection with themselves rooted firmly in the valley of self-awareness and personal growth while I, on the other hand, am prone to thoughts involving onion rings and cookie dough/oreo shakes and how fast I can get both of those things in my mouth while worrying about the wrinkled laundry that needs folded and questioning if I can still fit into my wedding dress (right now, uh, no), while thinking about the cable bill I forgot to pay last month, oops. Some people have the gift of making momental connection and bringing things full circle; I have the gift of the garbled thought process.

But really. 

It can be entertaining and confusing and frustrating, or a combination of all of those things depending on the situation. I find it most hilarious when I go back in my journal and read whatever I felt important enough to commit to paper and date; instead of reading how I was really feeling I can read about how I thought I was supposed to be feeling or whatever I censored myself to say in fear that my kids would read it someday and think less of me for it. I remember during the adolescent years how I felt guilty for ever saying I hated anybody so instead I would write things like "Jenny was really mean to me today, I strongly dislike her", which is ridiculous coming from a 13 year old. That's a brutal age for girls and I was no exception. I should have been writing about how I wanted to hang up the phone and crawl under a rock to die when the first boy who ever stuck his tongue in my mouth called me up the next day and asked if that was my first time french kissing because I didn't really seem to know what I was doing which, of course it was my first time french kissing, I WAS ONLY 13!  Sorry mom, and yes, I did learn my lesson. But instead my journal entries from that time are full of "strongly dislikes" and "school was good today". Ugh, just like my teeth at the time, I couldn't be straight with myself if I tried.   

I never can nail down exactly how I feel about anything aside from those times where my heart is literally exploding with joy from a moment of motherhood or wifery related nirvana (they happen every now and then), or when money unexpectedly shows up in my checking account. Joy is an easy one for me, I can do joy, I can also do relief and dirty pissed. Everything else? Not so much. Even sadness and disappointment get rolled in with things like irony and optimism.  

Keeping track of my thought process and the resulting emotional conflict is more tiring than the actual experience itself. It's seriously exhausting being me you guys. I need help figuring out everything from how I really feel about high fructose corn syrup, why I have this nagging feeling I'm not living up to my potential, and most of all what the eff was I thinking when I chose my college degree? How did my kids get so cute? Is puberty going to turn them into mini-slagathors just like it did to me? Will we ever pay off our damned credit card? I should invent something really great, but what? Why is no one paying me millions to write crap like this, it's genius!? How am I going to survive next winter? Do I need medicated? Will I ever feel like an athlete ever again? I want to be a runner, but I seriously hate running. I need a coke right now.  Man I hope my car makes it another 2 years. Why do I thrive on the teenage compliments I get on my outfits from the girls in my sunday school class? Is it because I never got validated on that sort of thing in high school? We're out of milk, but should I be feeding my family milk at all, or almond milk instead? That would go over awesome I bet.

Do I have answers or resolution for any of that? No. Well except for the HFCS question, it's made from corn and fine in moderation according to the commercial from the corn growers of America. Gospel truth right there. 


Welcome to my brain. 

ZONK

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Sun Drunk and Random

I like, no LOVE, that one of the top Google search terms that brings people to my blog is some variation of "can chubby girls wear strapless dresses", which of course leads them to THIS post that I wrote in the very early days of MLAK, back when I had no idea about anything. Turns out, not much has changed. I didn't even credit the photo or bother to black out the poor girl's face. Meanie. 

Today's Mama featured my blog a few days ago; that made me feel sort of spesh. 

Last night I had what felt like a 30 min gallbladder attack. Luckily it didn't last long and I remember someone telling me that a gall bladder attack was worse than natural childbirth. Having experienced both I'd have to say that they were lying or possibly grossly misinformed. 

I made a new friend about a month ago. It is an understatement to say that she is awesome. You know when you have a connection with someone that makes you feel that Saturday's Warrior Circle of our Love sort of thing? Yeah, that's it, except a lot less corn-holey. 

Bless this day. We spent 2.5 hours at the pool with my preg-a-nent friend Shayla and her daughter. My kids only almost drowned themselves a couple of times and we came home tired and full of Vitamin D, with a new appreciation for terrible tattoos and bandeau tops. Speaking of swimsuits, I love my new striped swimsuit so much, and it's a one piece! Connie would be so proud. 

Lastly, enter yesterday's KSL Deals giveaway mmkeh? You don't have to use it for a family reunion photo because honestly, I don't ever want to remember those and I imagine you probably feel the same. Use it for your own family, or for yourself if you're feeling especially needy. 

Peace out, A-Town

KSL Deals Family Photography Giveaway

I love ksl.com, not for the news so much but more for their classified section. Just last week I unloaded a broke down '87 blazer that didn't even run in less than 12 hours after I had listed it online. I had 15 text messages asking about it 10 minutes after listing it. Ksl.com is hands down, the best classifieds forum in Utah. 

KSL has expanded their site to include a new KSL Deals section that features products and services from local businesses, available for purchase at a major (think up to 60% off) discount. It works sort of like LivingSocial and Groupon, except all the businesses featured are local which is completely rad. I major dig supporting local businesses, you should too, you know, if you live in Utah and all. If not go support YOUR local businesses mmmkeh? Anyway, you should definitely go "like" KSL Deals on facebook which will give you all the info, plus they do facebook giveaways for their featured deal of the day. Sweet, I know. I just entered one for a glycolic peel because I'm not getting any younger here people. 

KSL Deals contacted me about hosting a giveaway for today's featured deal which is a freaking $59 family reunion photo special. If you've got a family reunion coming up, or if you're overdue for your own family photos, for only $59 the professionals at Scott Breen Photography will make your family look something like this: 


This deal includes $59 Family Reunion Photo session & 11x14 print of choice
About Scott Breen Photography:
+one of the biggest studio spaces in Utah
+over 57 years of combines photography experience

Right, so I get to giveaway one of today's package deals to one of you!

To Enter:
1. visit KSL Deals and check out their current and past deals of the day, return here and leave a comment
2. "like" KSL Deals on facebook (then come back and tell me, der)
3. Tweet about it and link back to this post (again, come back and let me know)
That's it, 3 entries possible for each person.

NOTE: you don't have to use this just for a family reunion photo, you can use it for a regular family portrait if you'd prefer. I'd personally rather not have a photographic reminder that I had to go to a family reunion but that's just me.

Everyone else, go check out KSL Deals HERE, and learn more about today's photography deal HERE.

*giveaway ends Friday, June 24th, winner notified via email so be sure to leave yours if it's not connected to your profile

GIVEAWAY NOW CLOSED, CONGRATULATIONS TO FOXY J! RANDOM.ORG LIKED YOU BEST!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Too Busy For You

WVC drive in represent!


bike riding savant

I know, I KNOW

plus popsicles, long walks, trips to Costco, gardening, work, and some other stuff; we've basically got this business handled

I love it