Tuesday, January 25, 2011

A Few Items of Business

First, the aforementioned fireplace mantle


I know, those speakers have to go. Mostly because the Nub broke the 6 disc dvd changer they are attached to and isn't that a marriage of convenience?  Your ideas are most welcome.  I am thinking a pom-pom and felt heart garland is in order. Valentine's Day is right around the corner you know, and if I must be confined to the house, I might as well pretend that I excel at domesticity (if you can't make it, FAKE IT).  

Second, in reference to the debatable double space, some are yay and some are nay. The jury is still out and apparently the experts disagree. As for me, I'm trying to control my thumbs when they itch for that double hit, but I'm working against like 15 years of habit man, the reflex is STRONG! 

Third, I.am.so.tired., *bangs head on wall*. From doing what I'm not so sure. My Adult Onset Seasonal Affective Disorder (A.O.S.A.D., FYI) likely has something to do with it. And then, you know, that kid who thinks it's funny to wake up every few hours for a hit of the good stuff might be a contributing factor as well. 

Sleep regression makes me want to poke my eyes out.  

Fourth, I need a shower. 

Fifth, eat your heart out.


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I need answers

Here is my question:

Do you double space after a period at the end of a sentence?

When did I miss the memo that we weren't supposed to do this anymore?

Can Do

This was last week, at an honest to goodness high school basketball game. My uncle is the head coach of the NS Hawks who pulled off a nail biter to beat Juab in one of the lowest scoring games I ever remember, geez, might have well been girls basketball. The Nub was riveted, except for when he was crawling all over the old guy sitting in front of us. Er, sorry 'bout that fella.  

Anywhat, have I told you about my New Year's Resolutions?  No? Oh right because I didn't really make any except in my head. So maybe let's do that right now.  

1.Be NICE- in an attempt to calm the mental instability I feel during these damnable winter months I am  making a concerted effort to be nicer.  I want my husband to like me, maybe even love me and this would really help my case.  

2.TRY HARDER- this can easily be lumped in with #1 but we'll go ahead and give it it's own spot.  On the chalkboard in my kitchen I wrote "Be Patient and Try Harder", underneath which Paul wrote "laugh, it's usually funny".  Maybe I'll go tattoo that on the back of my hand where I can see it all the time for reiteration's sake.  

3. BUDGET- you guys, we did it.  We sat down together for the first real time in our natural married lives and put together a real life spreadsheet with columns and formulas and items that carry over and limits, LIMITS!  So far the process has made me want to barf because I can see in print how much money really does fly out the window, but it also tickles my need to control tendencies in all the right places.  I am proud of this budget and I'm going to go ahead and give myself a DOH! smack on the forehead for not doing it sooner.  Also, with the money I spend on diapers I could buy myself liposuction and/or a boob job.  

4. Get Smarter-I get daily emails from Dictionary.com with their word of the day, I read it and then forget about it 10 seconds later.  Today's word of the day: 

Concupiscible/kon-KYOO-pi-suh-bul/adj.
definition: worthy of being desired
as in: I find that donut to be highly concupiscible

Also, I'm going to read more books.  Suggestions?  

5. Button Jeans Comfortably-did I tell you I joined Weight Watchers again?  I did.  One week later I'm down 1.9 lbs and craving cookie dough.  Thanks for asking.  

And with that, let's call it good.  






Monday, January 17, 2011

my mantle is bare

I didn't start truly hating post-Christmas winter until I had babies.  Actually maybe it was the winter before I had babies that it really began because I like to be one step ahead.  Is there such a thing as Adult Onset Seasonal Affective Disorder?  I say yes, because I just made that up right there.  I've seen a lot of posts flying around the blogopshere on how to avoid the cold weather funk and have deduced that the only thing that will work for me is an extended 3 month vacation to somewhere much warmer.

Seeing as how I've spent an unholy amount of time stuck inside my house, I've decided that it's time to redecorate.  Except I'm not sure how to do that with my redecorating budget at a zero balance.  And also, my decorating tastes have changed significantly since we furnished our house right after we got married and I'm still not sure which direction they truly lie (lay?  WHY CAN I NEVER REMEMBER WHICH ONE TO USE??).  Do I like modern furniture, am I into contemporary lighting, do I join up with the popular kids and turn my decor into a mid-century modern tribute to the simple times?  I have no idea.  I'm completely clueless.  All I know is that my mantle looks bare and if I see one more piece of black furniture in this place I'm going to off myself in dramatic fashion.

All this would be solved if I could just take my kids to the park and ignore the "problem".  But that's not happening anytime soon.  So listen, all you DIY princess/decor magicians, I'm going to post a picture of my mantle and you're going to tell me what to do with it and then maybe I'll give you a gift card to like Sonic or something.  Deal?  Hey, $5 in pebble ice is WORTH IT!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Deep In The Trenches

My sister and her husband took a red eye last night to watch THIS game tomorrow.  I am a little bit jeal. because I have yet to meet my newest niece and hullo, that game is going to be a dog fight.  Ray Lewis scares the crap out of me.  Hi, if you've ever been on trial for murder then the chances of you shanking someone in the middle of a game go way up, but maybe that's just the paranoia talking.  

Anyway, my sister's red headed 3.5 year old, you may remember her as Sweetcheeks, is with us for the next few days.  She and the Nub are best frenemies, of the thick as thieves sort.  When they're not chasing each other around the house, then they're riding tandem with a pirate hat.  Ensue crappy phone pic:  


The Nub is more than happy to have a play pal after being cooped up like a caged beast the past 6 weeks.  The kid has been through 2 rounds of antibiotics and is finally, FINALLY, starting to resemble his old self.  And of course, I am happy to have him back because I ran out of sanity after the first week of it.  I do have this to say, I bet more mothers lose their minds in the dead of winter than at any other point in the year.  Even though for two kids 15 months apart these two play reasonably well together, there are still property wars to diffuse, potty breaks to manage, meal times to negotiate, oh and a Fatty to mug on.  


This one needed some extra squeezing after those two yahoos were running around all morning like strung out chickens.  Now all three have been relinquished to Kalli-imposed nap times.  I got intimate with a coke and sat down to get some work done, abandoning the bomb that went off in my kitchen and forgetting about the trail of destruction that follows around 2 and 3 year olds, right after I texted Paul that we were definitely done having kids.  My hat is off to you, mothers of many small littles, you are my heroes.

Also, I also find you quite insane.  

Sunday, January 9, 2011

I Never Was Good At Math

I posted this on the Twitter a few days ago, 

undoubtedly you are impressed by his roll collection, 

Fatty is not known as such for nothing.


This baby has stolen my heart as I well know he would.  I want for nothing more than to sit around with him all the day long and bask in his glorious chub with a nibble here, a nuzzle there, a few chuckles (him), some gooey eyed demonstrations on my behalf, and then we rock and snuggle, repeat.  One boy claimed ownership first, but the second has an equal share, and I never could imagine how the human heart is capable of such dividing, or such multiplying should I say?  

This one thing I know, two boys requires patience, a Mother Theresa amount of patience and as I am no Mother Theresa, I often fall short on that supply.  But at the end of the day when they are tucked away safe in their beds, I take a breath, put on my rose colored glasses and know for myself that I can do better tomorrow and they will be none worse for the wear.  

After all, multiplied or divided, love really is all you need.  

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

I have arrived

Well America, I got my hands on an iPhone and good thing because I had to take Priscilla the laptop for a little repair work today. 2-5 days without the internets? I think not.

Also I am currently in bed with a tissue lodged up my nose to combat the dripping effects of a wicked sinus infection and I look amazing. Like ROWR. Maybe this is why Paul jumped ship and went to the gym I'm guessing. Stab in the dark there.

Typing on this little keypad is giving me a headache, on top of the normal post-nasal drip headache so ima have to peace out. I leave you with a photo that has nothing to do with this at all.

Except I just realized I don't know how to do that so nevermind.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

baby pattern baldness

When I hit the "eject" button on this boy almost 4 months ago and he showed up with a head full of glorious hair I rejoiced, yea verily,  because I always wanted a fat baby with lots of hair, and there he was.  

Remember this?


But then this happened: 

Triple F began resembling my dad in more ways than one.  Business in the front, party in the back.  The top was coming out in clumps but the back was still thick and lustrous as ever.  

So what?  

Everyone I talked to whose baby had this problem buzzed their kid's head, you know, to even it out. What other choice is there?  Let your kid hang out looking like an ideal candidate for Bosley hair restoration?  I don't know...

I WAS TORN.  DEEPLY TORN.  

After church today, we did it.  


Cue the regret.  THE INSTANT AND OVERWHELMING REGRET!

I hate it so bad I can't even stand it.  Poor Triple F.  What has your mother done to you?

Tell me it grows back quick, or I'm going to order my kid one of those baby toupees, STAT!

 I mean it.  

** 
now accepting hat donations for the next however long until his dang hair grows back in

muchas gracias