I feel like I've been productive today, I mean maybe not compared to other people's standards but I don't generally care about other people's standards now do I?
6:15 am - awake to blaring baby monitor with a Nub on the other end sort of crying but sort of not
6:15-7:30 am- ignore the sort of crying, flop around alone in my giant bed with a hump in the middle because neither me nor my spouse enjoy any sort of physical contact during the sleeping hours. No touchie!
7:30 am- drag myself out of bed and hit up the bathroom for a good toothbrushing and whatnot
7:40 am- pick my kid up out of his crib, snuggle and rock for a few minutes as the wanton toddler will allow. Change diaper, find his onesie is pee soaked up the front. That makes it 2 for 3 mornings this week. I think his ding ding points straight up or something, he's like a fountain of urine.
7:40-8:40 am- breakfast consisting of pancakes. Kalli=2, Nub=0. I love getting denied in my food offerings, or not. Fine kid, more pancakes for me. Also, orange juice from concentrate with a frothy top makes me feel like a kid again, wheeee!
8:40-10:30 am- scrub bathrooms, get high off of enclosed rooms with no windows. Why do they even build bathrooms with no windows? Staved off multiple attempts for the toilet brush wand by the 18 month old. Also, it is blizzarding outside and as a deep and ponderous thought I have this: I don't think hell is hot, I think it is an arctic tundra wasteland where people go to freeze to death and slowly lose their minds, like here where I live, or Alaska. Guess we're not leaving the house today after all...
10:30-11:00am- finish cleaning bathrooms, tear bed apart for the weekly washing of the linens, finish putting away midget laundry, load washer, fold dryer, ad nauseam.
11:00 am - 1:20 pm: put the Nublet down for a nap, without protest. What a gem. Make granola. Eat granola. Fiddle with tax crap. I hate tax crap. Pay car payment, woo hoo only like 2 years left on that mofo (SARCASM). Spend wasted time on the phone with stupid benefit people trying to figure out who to yell at for screwing up our flex spending stuff. Call shorter half and yell at him instead. Call back and apologize for being a righteous B with an itch. Call HR lady, leave voicemail and send strongly worded email. Someone has to take the hit and I've deemed her likely.
1:20-2:44- chase child around again in an attempt to feed him lunch, mild success with white chicken chili, don't worry kid, I'll eat the rest. Roll around on floor with child, get ridden like a donkey and not in the good way. Type this blog post, send grandparents text message of adorable child sitting next to you reading a book, hit send, child rips out page, I sniff poo...
DIAPER CHANGE #4566
2.5 more hours till Daddy comes home...