Why I'll never be a celebrity:
I love carbs way too much. Sometimes, I get intimate with a donut and think "man Giselle is really missing out on life". But then she has really nice boobs, and Tom Brady as her baby daddy, so I'm guessing donuts aren't her priority. I just love myself too much to give them up. I read about these celebrities and how they lost the baby weight and blah de blah blah blah and they all say the same thing: I gave up carbs, or I only have them once a day.
To me this is a crime against humanity.
I think I'd rather enjoy my muffin top while eating a muffin instead.
So there.



7 notes:
Amen. A life without carbeliciousness is no life worth living.
Maybe you already covered this in reasons 1-544, but I'm always grateful I'm not a celebrity when I need to run to the store on a bad hair day. (Or on a bad face day, or a bad body day/month/year/decade.) Also whenever I say something stupid on the internet. (So, like, every day.)
Mmmmm... Carbs....
You wanna see a carbaholic!? Check out Derick. That dude downs the carbs like no one I've EVER seen. He just stole dad's roll when he wasn't looking. He's an evil carb genius. And he's not famous, either. But he should be.
Let's see, this morning I had a huge bowl of Multigrain Cheerios followed by a super size McD's (hey, at least the chicken was grilled) and topped it off with half a churro from Costco. (It would've been a whole churro but I had to share to keep the peace.) The cookies in the kitchen are now calling my name. I. Adore. Carbs.
No carbs Makes people cranky...especially me.
I went on a no-carb diet once. It lasted one meal. Then I had dessert. And that was the end.
AMEN sister! As much as I'd like to look like Survivor contestants after 30 days, there's no way they're prying sugar from me unless it's from my cold, dead fingers. What else could a Mormon binge on?
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