{dig a deeper hole of embarrassment}

SO {do you realize how many posts i begin with this word?}

one of my internet lovers, except we're friend IRL now, so are we still internet lovers?? i'm getting off topic here. anyway, sue, her name is sue. i'm sure you know her from her hilarious and slightly paranoid blog naval gazing at it's finest. today is her weekly very funny friday post and she asked me to talk about all the guys i'd kissed before hub came into the picture. except that we've already covered that topic here at MLAK.

i will, however, tell you about my first real kiss which is even more humiliating then the fact that i can't really remember how many guys i've kissed in the first place. and to top it off, people from my home town who actually knew me back then now read this blog. let's all hold hands and re-live this moment together mmmkay?

to set the scene...

it was a balmy may evening, all of my friendies {boys AND girls, ooooooooh} were at my house after the last day of school for a little "end of the year" partay/bbq. we had just finished up 6th grade. i hadn't yet made the complete transformation into slagathor the snaggle toothed eyebrow beast, though things had certainly been set in motion. the connie was a gracious host to all of us mid-pubescent idiots running amuck around the ranch house, laughing about who knows what and just generally being stupid. 6th graders are just that way, you know? my dad even let us have a bonfire. my parents=awesome. anyway, a couple of recently graduated 7th graders decided to crash the party including my on again/off again "boyfriend". we'll call him giant nose, because he really did have a giant nose. who crashes a party full of kids younger than you? maybe that should have been my first clue? I DIGRESS.

we all decided to engage in a game of hide and seek, the ranch house and surrounding property being a perfect setting for such dilly dally. i hid with giant nose in a willow tree back behind the garage, we held hands, it was sweaty. after no one found us we decided to give up the jig and were walking back towards the house when giant nose decided now would be a good time to lay one on me. so he did. being my first kiss i had no idea what was going on. he shoved his tounge in my mouth, so i shoved mine back in his mouth. EWWWWWWW!!! it was not pleasant. i remember thinking, really? tounges are gross! i kind of want to puke! is it over?

then he and his friend left, party over. i was relieved.

the next morning my parents left to go run errands and my best friend and i were hanging out in the kitchen after breakfast when the phone rang. it was giant nose, calling to say hello. we chatted for a bit when he said

so, um, about last night...

me {silent} uh huh

was that your first time doing that? french kissing?

me{dying inside} uh no, why?

no reason, i mean, nevermind

me {still dying, gesturing to my friend and fanning my face with embarrassment} yeah okay um i have to go. and i hung up the phone and laughed/died a little bit inside with my friend for 30 minutes about how awkward that was.

me and big nose broke up soon after. maybe it was because i was a bad kisser, or maybe it was because HE was. either way, i think that moment alone is responsible for my extensive kissing history, it had to be better than that so i was out to prove it. so thanks big nose. i guess you were good for something, and it certainly wasn't french kissing.

THE END

if you're feeling bold then please share with me your own first kiss experience. i hope it was just as bad as mine. that's just how first kisses go.

and sorry mom, you should probably not ever have to read this crap but i am your daughter so you should be used to this type of stuff.

ONE OTHER NOTE, i just realized that it was at the end of 7th grade, not 6th grade, that one year sure makes a difference.

HAPPY WEEKEND EVERYONE!! we're headed to the rv show tomorrow with the connie and my dad. party!!

{how to: babyfood}

babyfood, the low-down:

pretty much i gleaned most of my info from rookie cookie in all her foodie wisdom. she also has a couple of links at the end of her post on baby food to other blogs and websites with even more information. super helpful. you can find her post HERE.

my tips:

1. it's really not hard at all, in fact, it's easy! and cheap! trust me, if i can do it, you can probably do it better

2. invest in a steamer basket, they're under $10 at target yo

3. if you don't have a food processor {mine is a mini one} a blender works just fine

4. i like to buy the big bags of veggies at costco {carrots, green beans}. when you can, use frozen instead of canned veggies like peas, corn, etc., nutritionally it's just better.

5. when pureeing, the less texture the better, steam things like peas and carrots longer to make them softer and easier to blend.

6. you will need to add some kind of liquid as you go, be it breast milk, water, or formula. personally when i puree stuff i just add a little bit of water to get the kind of texture i'm looking for.

7. after you portion the pureed food out into ice cube trays, cover with plastic wrap {making sure the plastic touches right down on the food} and freeze until solid, then put into bags. rookie says it's good for about 3 months in the freezer. i do what she suggests and just pop out a few cubes into bowls and set on the counter. if they're still a little frozen when the nub is ready to eat i just pop it into the microwave on the defrost setting for a few seconds {like 8}. if you need to add liquid or cereal to thin or thicken it then go ahead. works with fruits and veggies alike. tomorrow i'm attempting pears.

8. if you have left overs no big deal! throw them back into the fridge and use tomorrow.

seriously easy you guys, no preservatives, not proceessed, better for your little peanut overall. if you've got the time i say give it a go! i've only been doing this for a few weeks and am no expert but if you've got any other questions send me an email. kallikverb@gmail.com

happy babyfooding!

{looks the same going in as it does coming out...}

hey guess what? home made baby food-not so hard after all. and the nubbin...sweet potatoes, YES. peas, not so much, carrots, even less. and that's as far as we've gotten folks. he looks so cute in his high chair, such a big boy. mostly he likes to bang on the tray and screech like a baby velociraptor. music to my ears. did you ever wonder what the soundtrack to your life would be? these noises are just a small part of my symphony...

today, yes, today was a good day. the hub stayed home from work. we all slept 'till 8:15. did you hear me right? 8:15!! i bolted into the nub's room to find him wide awake, sucking his thumb and happy as a clam. i love that moment, when he discovers my face above his. inevitably, whether he's content or in the middle of a squawk, as soon as i get there it's all smiles. one of the many small gifts of motherhood i suppose.

we breakfasted together. cereal, applesauce, and a wee bit of boobie juice for the small one, cheerios/total and strawberries for the mama, cookie crisp for the daddy. i went to a meeting, then to the gym and home to find the hub putting the vacuum through it's paces. the nub went down for a nap, how much do i love that he does that now? the hub left for a quick meeting of his own. i showered, did lunch. hub came home. the nub bounced away in his jumper while the hub read a book and i got ready. and then, IKEA!

plopped the baby in his sling, found a rug, some baskets, got some meatballs, wondered how a leisurely stroll through the best sweden has to offer ended up costing me $110. those ikea people, it's a conspiracy i tell you.

and home.

stories, prayers and nursing for nub. kisses and loves from mama and daddy. an evening of dexter, scrubs re-runs, the warmth of the computer on my lap.

now to bed.

perfection would be this day on repeat.

{what's not to love?}

{facebook fry-day}

So,

i joined facebook

i know cjane did a post about this today and i swear upon swears that this just so happens to be coincidence. though i do love a good bandwagon jumping. or not.

facebook. to join or not to join? except EVERYONE is on facebook. everyone but me. i kid you not, at lunch yesterday even my grandma asked how to join. thelma, i don't think facebook is ready for you...

anyway. turns out i accidently joined a while ago. like you know when you get those emails that so and so joined facebook! check out their profile! but in order to check it out you have to sign up and if you're not smart enough to realize that then before you know it you have yourself your very own facebook account and everyone you know in your entire address book has been notified. yeah that was me. so i unsigned up as quick as i'd signed up, until yesterday.

then a few weeks ago my shorter half got his own account. and i spent copious amounts of time checking out his friends and researching people and looking up my own old connections. but here's where my problem was: i kind of decided that's what my blog was for. that everyone i ever really cared about had access to it, and that was good enough for me. and it is. except that i don't share a ton of really personal information {RELEVANT personal information} because the only way to control who sees my blog is to take it private but then that would mean no new blog friends and i love my blog friends {or internet lovers as the hub and i tenderly refer to you all as such}! rock meet hard place. this has been the subject of much debate between me and certain friendies. you know who you are. i even begrudgingly texted the most adamant of those friendies that i had indeed joined yesterday and felt guilty admitting that i had joined and had thereby made an idiot out of myself for every time i had previously proclaimed "NO FACEBOOK!". she of course made fun of me and then we moved on.

i'm still not really sure how i feel about it, the facebooking. i don't like the idea of typing my every move into my status updates, nor do i feel like i need to reconnect with everyone i ever knew in high school or was friends with 50 zillion years ago. i'll be honest, i hated high school for the most part. my friends drove me crazy and i spent a good majority of my weekends hanging out with my mom instead, by choice. sometimes just thinking about certain people kind of makes me ill and the idea of friending them makes me even more ill. i don't like feeling ill so i reserve the right to be picky with my facebook friends. some people i just don't have a great desire to reconnect with.

sorry, don't take it personally or anything.

ENNYWHO

i've joined. and that's that. bullet bitten.


in other news... the nub has his first cold and i have become a crazy nose sucking nazi. it's not even a bad cold but i am on the defense! we have 2 humidifiers blowing full steam ahead 24/7, his little mattress is propped up, the hand washing is mandatory and did i mention i'm crazy with the nose sucking? poor little guy, he thinks it's some mid-evil form of torture. me thinks that maybe a tooth is on the horizon, no?

what are your plans for v-day? me and mine i think we're going to catch confessions of a shopaholic. because i loved those books, and isla fisher. and nothing says valentine's day better than a cherry coke and popcorn. and maybe some of those frozen jr. mints.

happy day people, it's the weekend!

just don't get stuck in some dumb blizzard...

{mi kk rich}

this is kari {and me on the right}
back when we were much more tan
and a lot less married

yesterday was her birthday

i've never had a more loyal
{and slightly crazy}
bosom bud

she is a treat
even when she snores

she is a tremendous person who will do anything for anyone
and cook anything for any occasion
which i take full advantage of
heck
i'd probably make her bake her own birthday cake
she is a pastry chef afterall...

love you kkr

hope your day was GLORIOUS!

{stupid car}

i am over this week already

and it's only tuesday...

my car smells like gas/exhaust again

after the last "repair" and 2 weeks of blissful, non-emissive driving it slapped me upside the nose two days ago. w.t.f. man? why do you treat me so bad blazey? all i've ever done is show you love, change your oil and wash you frequently. i never let your tank get below 1/2 full and this is how you repay me? by assaulting me with your heinous scent? by hiding your major malfunctions and forcing me to take you repeatedly to the car doctor? even he can't figure out what's wrong with you. i'm starting to think you hate me.

is anyone willing to stage an intervention in which they would agree to hit my car and wreck it to the point of no return so that i can buy a new acadia? i'll pay you. like $100 bucks. that should cover like 12% of your insurance deductible. i'll even throw in a few bags of mini eggs. you'd be doing me and my child a great service. saving the nub's braincells and my sanity. is that not payment enough?

let me know

i'm getting desperate

{i'm screwed}

they're already out

it's february

for the record... easter isn't until APRIL

crap

{the nitty gritty}

alrighty then

who wants a little "a" for their "q"?

i'm gonna go ahead and put a little disclaimer in here that a few of these q's really made me think. and thinking really hard isn't something i try to do on a regular basis. the effort of it all, it's exhausting.

here we gooooooooo.....

q #1 from Linda G.
have you ever thought about writing professionally?

yes linda, yes i have. i think about it a lot. and then i crumble into a ball of self doubt and realize that most writers/journalists are a lot smarter than me don't typically defer to words alluding to swear words in order to express themselves adequately. and thank you for the compliment. i like cracking people up so we are a perfect match.

q#2 from slice of life
you posted about cooking more frugally... how are you doing with that and what is your favourite recipe so far?

well dearie, i would rate my efforts somewhere between a 5 and 6 on a 10 point effort scale. the nub kind of threw me for a loop on the whole cooking dinner thing as in i just stopped doing it. BUT as of late i am renewed. i have found inspiration again. and i am back on it. i have a half beef in my freezer along with a costco sized box of eggo waffles. if that's not a recipe for success than i don't know what is.

favorite recipe would be connie's whole wheat bread. easy peasy, nutritious and delicious. yes. i actually baked bread for about a month. i need to do that again. thanks for the reminder. would you like me to post the recipe?

q #3 from SUE S! {speaking of writers...}
what would the new major be?

creative writing? english? journalism? cupcake taste analyzer {that's a major, right?} i need some help narrowing it down...

q #4 from nikki
if you could say you learned 3 main things in life what would those three things be?

so far:
1. braces are the answer to a lot of things
2. most of the time, what i REALLY want to say is definitely NOT what needs to be said
3. babies are worth it

q #5 from reagan
if you had to have a lop sided chest or lop sided butt what would it be?

chest. you can fake a lot with a good bra. trust me, i know.

q #6 from La
did having a baby make you want less children or is that just me?

it's not just you. i called my spouse two weeks ago and informed him that our son was going to be an only child. except then the nub started napping during the day and i felt a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe i could do it again. we'll re-evaluate after #2, which won't be anytime soon.

q #7 from yen
backne or crackne?

the occasional backne for me. those hormonees can be a real biatch.

and i've been waiting for you to come up here for like a year so we can visit the magical dwarf chocolate shopp{e}.

q #8, 9, 10 and 11 from nat
8. what is your favorite ride at disneyland
9. if you could be any person on the planet, living or dead, who would it be?
10. if you were a fruit would you be a banana or an orange?
11. who is your best e-bff?

8. tie between pirates and indiana jones
9. i think i'd want to be Gus, but he's not a person. does that still count? copious amounts of sleeping, eating, pooping, playing, and not to mention heavy petting... what's not to love?
10. ORANGE
11. it's you, YOU YOU YOU!!!

q #12 from emily
what was your first major?

it changed about 6 times in the space of 3 years, but my actual degree is in recreational therapy

q #13 from natalie
how did you meet your husband?

he walked into my office my first week at a new job and insulted me. and then i knew it must be love...

q #14 from fig
how many guys were on "the list"

more than 10 and less than 50

q #15 from teri
do you have any real regrets? what are they and what would you do differently if you got a second chance. OH and do you wish your list was longer?

i have a few {those who say they don't are liars}. i wish i would have made better use of my time in college. i wish i would have worked less and spent more time learning. i wish i would have taken a few of the classes i wanted to take rather than those i had to take. i wish i could remember half the stuff i did learn. i wish i had been a better sister. i wish i would have been stronger in my beliefs. i wish that at times i wouldn't have been so afraid to ask questions. i wish i had been more comfortable with who i was.

i wish i hadn't kissed a lot of those dumb boys... the list definitely did not need to be any longer than it was.

q #16 from sister pottymouth
out of everyone on the list who was the best kisser?

i'm not even lying here when i say hub. hands down. from what i remember anyway...

q #17 from brooke
favorite meal ever?

connie's burger bundles. with german chocolate cake to top. yes.please.

and the nub's cheeks? a daily meal.

q #18 from Sue
who is funnier-your husband or you?

ME. ME ME ME ME! except for when he is. which is often.

q #19 from wendy
a cup, b cup or c cup?

the answer is d, none of the above

q #20 from shayla
what would your platform be if you ran for president?

4 day work weeks and mandatory siestas! 3 month vacations! cupcake saturdays!

q #21 from fig {i forgot to add this one, sorry friendy}
if you could pick one person to switch bodies with who would it be?

i've always appreciated the athletic body. i think muscles on a girl are to be respected. so i'd have to say someone like misty may treanor {pro volleyball player} or gabrielle reece.

q's #22, 23, 24, 25 & 26 from shar
22. favorite movie ever?
23. favorite book?
24. favorite restaurant?
25. how many kids did you think you'd have growing up?
26. how many kids do you think you want now?

22. thoroughly modern millie. RAZZZZBERRRIIEEEEES!! if you haven't seen it your life is empty and meaningless. carol channing, mary tyler moore AND julie andrews. that friends, is movie magic.
23. this is a toughie. growing up i read over and over again a book named cold sassy tree by olive ann burns so i guess i'd have to say that one. it's always been my go to.
24. alexi's greek restauraunt in hillcrest, san diego. if you find yourself in the SD then go. you won't regret it. and tell my little gay waiter friend i said hello. get the gyro. and the hummus plate.
25. i honestly thought i wanted like 8 or 9 because babies the more the merrier, right?
26. now it's more like "if i survive 2 then i could probably do 3, and then maybe 4 if i'm feeling especially brave"

q #27 from stoopid
which was more embarrassing? braces or early high sjmchool?

early high school, because it was the trifecta; horrifically crooked teeth, bad bad eyebrows, and debilitating awkwardness. at least when i finally got braces the other things sort of got under control. i said sort of. braces and college weren't exactly a match made in heaven either.



anyone else?

{hump day slump day}

it's hump day people

that critical point in the week where i lose motivation and end up sitting around in my sweatpants all day without showering. don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

prolly not.

anywho,

because any sort of exercise, even the mental kind, is too much for me right now i'm going to defer to my friend fig and offer myself up for a q&a. get excited.

SO. ask away. now's your big chance to de-lurk and find out everything you ever wanted to know about me, because i don't over share enough as it is, right? end the blog stalking and come forth! i've never had an official de-lurking before so i'm kind of nervous that only my mom will comment and she already knows everything about me. like the fact that i used to hide in the bathroom after dinner for like an hour so i wouldn't have to do the dishes. sometimes i still do it. or the fact that i'm not too crazy about my college degree and would eventually like a re-do even though the actual thought of going back to school makes me feel nauseated {is that the right tense}? or the fact that i used to keep a list of all the boys i'd kissed and put stars by the ones i actually liked {sorry connie}? what a hussy.

aren't you dying to know this stuff?

when all q's are in i'll do a post with answers. this is going to be epic. i know it.

GO!