Yesterday's post was sort of lame, but don't think I'm saying sorry for it because I'm not, I'm just merely stating the obvious. I do that a lot you know, the whole internal monologue gone external. Some would say that's a character flaw, but I'm not entirely convinced.
A few weeks ago when I was packing up all of our junk in preparation for the big move I came across a bin full of notes and papers from my days at the BYU. I plopped my sweat pant clad hiney down on that cold basement floor and spent about 2 hours flipping through my junk and taking a memory walk down forever-ago lane. My butt eventually went numb and I headed back upstairs for some sustenance but those things that I'd written, those projects that I'd worked on, seeing them again sparked something. Something crazy I'm sure, but something nonetheless. I put it to the back of my head and got back to the business of packing and the reality that moving sucks!
Then last week I was talking with my sister (of the in-law persuasion), and we got to discussing all things about life and motherhood and basically everything in between. I don't know why but that always tends to happen when she and I get deep in conversation. She's very philosophically minded and introspective in her thought processes which is good for me because I have problems focusing on anything more than the pinchy waistband on my underwear (for the love of cheetos stop talking about your underwear Kalli!). Anyway, I usually hide from the deep thinkers of the world because thinking deeply requires a lot more mental effort that I'm not sure I possess anymore. Blame that sense of defeat on my daily interactions involving mostly one way conversations about poop with a 13 month old. Except my SIL has an 18 month old, and she's not brain dead, far from it!
She thinks deep, I can think deep, I just have to TRY! REMEMBER KALLI HOW YOU USED TO HAVE PROFESSORS ONCE? And you went to college and went through this long phase where you hated everyone and college itself and couldn't wait to be finished fast enough because BYU is full of dorks and you were certainly not that (except you were)?
Yes, you remember those days. I remember those days.
Ugh. I wish I'd tried harder. Both to like BYU more and to search out the things that really interested me instead of worrying about what fit my work schedule and how I could arrange it to spend as little time on campus as possible.
I'm getting to the point here I swear.
So I think I'm going to do it, begin the process of intellectualizing myself again. And this is an especially good thing because I'm pretty sure intellectualizing is not a real word. I'm not saying I'm running back to school full time, I'm just saying that maybe I'd like to take an online class or two.
Suggestions?
A few weeks ago when I was packing up all of our junk in preparation for the big move I came across a bin full of notes and papers from my days at the BYU. I plopped my sweat pant clad hiney down on that cold basement floor and spent about 2 hours flipping through my junk and taking a memory walk down forever-ago lane. My butt eventually went numb and I headed back upstairs for some sustenance but those things that I'd written, those projects that I'd worked on, seeing them again sparked something. Something crazy I'm sure, but something nonetheless. I put it to the back of my head and got back to the business of packing and the reality that moving sucks!
Then last week I was talking with my sister (of the in-law persuasion), and we got to discussing all things about life and motherhood and basically everything in between. I don't know why but that always tends to happen when she and I get deep in conversation. She's very philosophically minded and introspective in her thought processes which is good for me because I have problems focusing on anything more than the pinchy waistband on my underwear (for the love of cheetos stop talking about your underwear Kalli!). Anyway, I usually hide from the deep thinkers of the world because thinking deeply requires a lot more mental effort that I'm not sure I possess anymore. Blame that sense of defeat on my daily interactions involving mostly one way conversations about poop with a 13 month old. Except my SIL has an 18 month old, and she's not brain dead, far from it!
She thinks deep, I can think deep, I just have to TRY! REMEMBER KALLI HOW YOU USED TO HAVE PROFESSORS ONCE? And you went to college and went through this long phase where you hated everyone and college itself and couldn't wait to be finished fast enough because BYU is full of dorks and you were certainly not that (except you were)?
Yes, you remember those days. I remember those days.
Ugh. I wish I'd tried harder. Both to like BYU more and to search out the things that really interested me instead of worrying about what fit my work schedule and how I could arrange it to spend as little time on campus as possible.
I'm getting to the point here I swear.
So I think I'm going to do it, begin the process of intellectualizing myself again. And this is an especially good thing because I'm pretty sure intellectualizing is not a real word. I'm not saying I'm running back to school full time, I'm just saying that maybe I'd like to take an online class or two.
Suggestions?
Posts
19 notes:
I support taking classes. You'll find that you're more interested in the actual learning and not the rest of it.
I'm with you on the BYU nostalgia lady friend. Careful with intellectualishness, it makes me pompous and gassy.
For me, this sparks the whole subject of motherhood and being an individual woman at the same time. It is hard to not get lost in the bathtub cleaning and bowls of oatmeal. Being yourself in one way or another is essential, or you will lose yourself in motherhood. So whatever you are interested in, broaden your knowledge whether it is through online classes, actual classes or reading. For me, I love food and I know more useless information about food than most people. And it's all because I refuse to lose me in the midst of pushing my kids on the swings.
I did a bad job of appreciating BYU as well. I wish I could go back and get more involved. I'm hit with this wave of nostalgia every other week. I haven't signed up for a class yet, but I do have fantasies about it...me sitting in the front row, raising my hand for every question, answering every question with such brilliance that my amazing professor recognizes my unbeknownst-to-me talent, takes me under her wing, and propels me towards success and stardom.
It could happen. =)
I totally understand. I can agree with that entire post.
I'd like to intellectualize too, but alas, I live in a small town and cannot. BUT, I did start reading hard books again. You know, the ones that you can't read in just one day. Does that count?
I swear I've been getter dumber lately. I've always loved school. I graduated in Illustration and Design...not the most scholarly major, but it still made me think. It made me be creative. It made me think.
I agree with Rookie Cookie. It is so easy to forget who you were before you had kids. It's easy to become "just a mom." I've been feeling that lately. I have become that. I need to find myself again.
Any semblance of intellectualness I possessed left me when I got pregnant. Now I confuse simple words (like leaving the "n" out of "function", that one was good times) and put the milk in the dryer and stuff.
So I will watch with envy as you intellectualize, and hope I can join you there someday.
I get caught in a time wrinkle any time I pull out any of my old class notes (yep, still have them) from BYU. I would give anything to go back (not back to that stage of life necessarily), just back to the opportunity to be surrounded by so much knowledge.
I loved BYU then and I love it now. I get a pit of nostalgia in my stomach every September and a hankering for an asiago cheese bagel and a BYU Creamery chocolate milk -- mmmmmm.
My suggestion: Don't be too hard on yourself.
Also, I shant tell you in this forum what I think of the byu, but, you know...some other time.
I've said it before and I'll say it again.... I think you should write a book/novella/novel/children's book- whatever comes your way. You have a great talent for it. Online classes are okay, but you have to be really time conscious, which can be tricky. But give it whirl.
Good for you!
I don't even have time to sleep these days.
do it!! Go after your dreams...one little class at a time.
Do it, Kal! Your mama-self and your wife-self are brightly shining! Wake up that little intellectual-self...I think you miss her! With your natural ability to balance the roles you take on, I know you will only allow an intellectual endeavor to enhance who you already are. xoxo
classes/learning=good. I recently started taking some and it is really fun. Now when I try and sound smart I have something to back it up with.
i like talking about deep things and pinchy undies. i think there's a need for both.
I love Joel McHale! He is hilarious. I think you should go for it too! School is so much more interesting as an adult than when we were just kids going to college. Funny how that is.
Yeah...I've have had so many days that Clint has come home to me saying that I'm gonna take classes or something. I feel quite uneducated and stupid often in my life as a mom, but...still haven't taken classes. I actually would really like to, but life is a little busy and chaotic, ya know. Anywho...I think it is awesome and I hope you do it!
I think a class would be fantastic. If you'd like to take a class together I'm totally IN!
Shheesh, so I guess none of us loved college while we were there, huh? Let me just say... I believe in the library/barnes&noble. No money out lots of info in and no schedule to be forced upon us who's schedule changes with each new growth spurt. I DO however LOVE classes that I DO NOT receive a grade for... such as cake decorating @ Roberts. Have fun whatever you do and hurry before you have 3 of them running around and you find yourself relearning 6th grade and thinking 'I didn't do this stuff til I was in High School!' Then onto dance, football, scouts, acheivment days, violin performances etc. etc. etc. etc. Not to mention everything else.
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