{blech}

cripes

i'm dying without my laptop

today i went so stir crazy i almost started plucking out my leg hairs (that's for you Fig)

and now the hub's macbook won't let me upload pictures.  

stick a fork in me, i'm done

{neighborly}

this picture doesn't have much to do with the post

it's just funny

i really like my neighbor 

her name is jeanine

she's in her late 60's

been divorced for 30 years

has 5 kids {or something like that}

is a retired kindergarten teacher

and full of opinions

{lawdy knows i like that}

we share a mutual penchant for being homebodies

not answering the door

and

avoiding our crazy RS president

{fara, you're borderline insane, and your dennis the menace haircut needs to go we've decided}

among other things

today she showed up at my front door

with a handful of her favorite children's books

and good advice about the best age to start kindergarten

{because you can never start thinking about these things too early}

all for the Nub

then she mugged on him for a while and we chatted it up with our other neighbor Maria

who's poly baby boy has 6 toes and outweighs the nub by like 8 lbs

even though he's 3 weeks younger

not having close neighbors growing up

{the curse of ranch life}

neighbors are kind of a new concept to me

but i think mr. rogers had the right idea

s0 won't you be my neighbor?

{how every afternoon should be spent}

{yes i love technology}

uh, my laptop is out of commission

it won't charge

i feel lost

out of sorts

i almost found myself going door to door asking strangers if i could use their internet

almost

good thing i have my not so trusty bb as back-up or else this situation would be extremely serious

i commandeered hub's laptop the second he walked in the door, frantically clicking around like it was going out of style

i think kip sums it up best:

*does anyone know a good laptop repair place in the happy valley area that won't a)charge me an arm and a leg and b)isn't bestbuy?

{this post is boring}

it's 9:45, the Nub has been down for about a half hour and i finally have some time to check on my internet girlfriends.  if i don't get to log onto bloglines at least once a day i start to get the shakes.  hub says i read blogs like normal people read the newspaper.  it's true.  what does that say about me?  dunno exactly, but i'm sure it relates to my escalating level of awesomeness.

speaking of awesomeness, my tender luff of a cuz Sarah came to my rescue and paid some much needed attention to my locks.  thanks saritchka, i heart you and apologize for the repeat exposure to my breasties.    

thanks for all the comment love and suggestive, erm, suggestions.  the input was much appreciated and my self-esteem has seen a considerable boost since then.  i was just having a moment you know?  

here's the new me, all colored and shiny:

not my best work photography wise but hey

my toe is wrapped up like a giant purple grape thanks to the ingrown toenail i had removed earlier tonight.  have you ever had that done?  it's kind of cool, they stab your toe a few times super deep to numb it, then they cut up your toenail with a pair of scissors and then just yank that sucker out of there.  the nurse was all nervous because i wanted to watch, i guess that makes me weird {amongst other contributing factors}.  but i love that stuff!  even when it's being done to me.  i like watching when i get my blood drawn too.   Connie would say i'm a weirdi.  

did i tell you that the nub has been sleeping 6,7,8, and even 9 hours a night?

i love that kid.  even after days like today where the only time he naps is in my arms.  like i'm a human pillow and human snackbar all wrapped up in one.  he wakes up to eat for 5 minutes, then falls back asleep for 10 then wakes for 5 and repeats ad nauseam.  it's kind of cute, but kind of makes me crazy too.  sometimes you want to eat chips and salsa and you can't do that with a squawking baby in one arm.    i'm just saying.  

and now my bed is calling to me

i must answer

the end

{the mental/physical breakdown}

i'm having self-esteem problems

no but really

i no longer find myself attractive on any level, and if you're slightly vain like i am you'd find this a real issue too

no this isn't a desperate plea for you to inundate me with reassuring comments
{though i do love those not so secretly}. i just need to vent.

my weight is at an all time high, i have stretch marks {thanks for showing up that last week of pregnancy friends}, and a saggly panniculus. i've gone back to the gym and huffed my way through a few pump classes but man my ego is taking a hit. wall to wall mirrors aren't helping either. today i was doing jumping jacks and watched my boobs bounce almost down to my navel before slowly doinging their way back up. is it because they're liquid filled now? i don't know.

though my acne beard is finally clearing up {the benefit of my eggo no longer being preggo}, it would seem that my make-up skills have taken a real hit as well, like i forgot how to do it or something. i never fix my hair, it's in a sick ponytail all day every day. you know how some people have awesome messy ponytail hair and it looks like they just threw it up and somehow it magically looks friggin' awesome? i'm not one of those people. my ponytails don't look good, they just seem to magnify my huge forehead in the hopes that NASA really will be able to broadcast satellite signals off of it. i really and honestly do not have time to fix my hair, and to be honest it kind of gets in the way when i do. i kind of fantasize about cutting my hair off into a cute bob like jenny mccarthy's or posh spice before she went butch but then i realize that pretty much everyone is cutting off their hair into a cute bob these days. and i also remember about how pissed off i got last time i whacked my hair {see HERE, it was my very first post on this old blog}, and how every new mom i've ever known, sans my sister, whacked their hair off as soon as they hatched out a kid. i don't want to be one of those people.

but i'm dying here. i need to feel pretty. i need to not look in the mirror and shiver internally.

so help me. what do i do? do i cut it off? do i wait it out? do i take make-up reapp. lessons or WHAT?

talk me down from the edge

because i swear i'm on the verge of something major...

marsha, marsha, marsha!!

**i still really love my kid and if i had to be in this same body in this state for the rest of my life just so i could have him i completely would, he was tote worth it.

{where's the love?}

After a looooong couple of nights with the Nub {he and sleep are at odds right now} I didn't catch much of conference {what's conference? Click here}. I did get the last few seconds of President Monson's Sat. morning and it sat with me all day, even in my current state of mind numbing sleep deprivation and other business as usual frustrations. He talked about finding joy in your life and not wasting the moments that pass by all too quickly anyway, advice we all need to take I'm sure.

So here's my joy for the day:

My baby is asleep right now, like for reals ASLEEP, and I'm not holding him, and he's been asleep for like 1.5 hours, ON HIS OWN. If only he could achieve this same level of greatness during the night hours...until then I will taketh what I can getteth friends.

here's the little angel now {he's sleep farting too, extra cute}:

you know what else brings me joy?
{besides caffeinated beverages, sugar in general, Tina Fey, and elastic waistbands}

baby smiles like this:

AND
I'm showered
clothed
make-upped
fed
and generally feeling decent about myself
so friends, I encourage you to do the same
find some joy
and share with me what's good about your day

happy happy joy joy
happy happy joy joy
happy happy joy joy

{what?}

thoughts for the day:

i watch Rachel Ray almost every morning. i don't know why. yes i do. it's because i'm always hooked up to the Nub when her show is on and since we still haven't mastered the art of one handed nursing, watching t.v. is about all i do. i've decided RR doesn't annoy me as much as i thought she did. and her food always looks so freaking good and fatty. and she's a little thick, so am i {woe}, and you can't hate on a fellow thicky thick girl. you didn't know this? well it's true.

RR is followed by Studio 5. yes, sadly i watch it too {the Nub likes to take his sweet time}. they gave away 5 trips to d-land last week mofo's! i thought they should reward me for watching their dumb show {which devotes an unnatural amount of air time to scrapbooking and all of it's glory} and for sure i'd win if i called in. guess not. no d-land for me.

halloween candy man. crappity crap crap. i think i ate my weight in pb m&m's today. not.good. and candy corn. even worse. though have you tried the carmel and chocolate candy corns? di-vine friends, di-vine.

if you take your husband and baby to the corn maze this is the souvenir you come home with:

lamb chop anyone?

the city where i live currently is in the process of tearing up all of the streets to put in this new irrigation line. it sucks. they dig huge trenches in the middle of the road, take forever to do whatever it is they're doing, then do a crap job of filling in the huge trench while in the process of making as much noise and disrupting traffic as much as they possibly can, then take another month to fill in the huge trench and do a crap job on that too. it also makes it practically impossible to go for a pleasant without choking on diesel fumes and dust and going deaf from all the noise. today i had to, no lie, walk down the middle of the street and play chicken with oncoming traffic because they tore apart my favorite route without my knowledge. i was afeared for our lives. i'm thinking about stealing a backhoe as payback... wonder what those are going for on ebay?

my registration is expired on my car

i need a shower

the end